im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
