i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize