I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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