Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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