How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
