yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We just shotgunned beers for America
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
