Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
