You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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