the day after is always just damage control
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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