I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
