If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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