Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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