i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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