you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize