About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
