It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
