OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
