he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
