Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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