just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
