I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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