just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
