I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Terrible idea I love it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
