Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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