If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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