so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
