I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
