all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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