hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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