everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
