He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
