It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
