Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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