dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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