I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
