Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love having hate sex.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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