I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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