That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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