i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
