Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
