why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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