Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
