I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
