My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
