even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
