I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
