At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
