I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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