If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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