either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
jump out the window naked night went bad
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