I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i out mim tonsoeep
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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