i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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