Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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