I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I touched a dick in church today
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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