I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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