I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
