Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
