imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
