Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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