She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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