The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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