I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
