Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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