considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize