Whod you bang
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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