Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
