My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
