TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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