I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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